It feels like it has been years since I have written down what I am thinking and feeling, but really it has only been a few months.

I finished my first quarter of grad school for my dual Masters in Clinical Counseling and School Counseling. I survived the intense reading and paper writing and editing. I forgot how much I love writing essays… I didn’t think this was an itch I had, but it feels great to be back into it. Education has always been something I enjoyed being a part of, and now that I am back in the student position, I feel incredible.

I learned a lot from relationships close to me. You cannot fix broken; this I learned twice in a row. Another person’s lack of confidence and security is a reflection of themselves, and their growth has to come from them, not from you. I like myself. I have confidence in myself and my appearance. I feel secure in who I am and where I am going. I live without a lot of shame (my friends will tell you), and I think it can attract people who envy that. It is a freedom that they keep themselves from, but find entertaining in the casual stranger. After both relationships ended, I was more surprised than anything that it ultimately came down to their own lack of confidence. Unpacking relationships and accepting them for what they were has been a really interesting challenge this past year. I used to play a fun game of blaming the other person or getting angry that they ended or what had led to them ending. Now I live a more free-flowing mindset, where I understand that people come through your life for short periods and it is better, in the long run, to learn from them rather than hate them. After each relationship, I become a better person with kinder words and more forgiveness.

I adopted a dog, something I swore I would never do. Kelso is a 1.5-year-old Shar Pei/Staffy mix from the local animal shelter. When I say that this dog has become my best friend, I truly mean it. He is my 5 AM walking buddy, and my singing buddy; he listens to me talk through my day, and he keeps my feet warm at night. He is truly the light of my day, and he makes me enjoy small pleasures like running down the beach or seeing the sunrise every day.

A new job… that also happened. I went from working in elementary school to high school; out of the office and back to working with SPED kids. I love my new position, but I really love the teens. They are so funny and kind-hearted. I was getting burnt out working in an office, constantly contacting people about their child’s absences, and getting screamed at by parents who don’t believe in COVID. High school is far more chill, and maybe even a little sad because these kids are almost out in the real world.

I feel like I am finally getting into what will be my future. 2 degrees in Counseling, a dog, a career path, and a group of friends that brings me incredible joy. I am so happy to be where I am, which is a nice feeling from the alternative. It has taken me two days to write this because of all the activities of the last two days, but now it is back to work and school. ❤