I was watching the sunrise this morning while doing some self reflection of my week. I worked around 70 hours last week (overtime, babyyy) and I didn’t feel my usual exhaustion, but I did feel accomplished. For two months this summer, I was without any work and couldn’t imagine an end to the frustration of being rejected from job after job. When I first started working two jobs, I was so stressed with balancing two schedules and the idea of taking classes on top of it, but now I thrive in that chaos. When I am at work, I am focused and alert, learning new skills and practicing patience in every situation as well as learning how to stand up for myself and coworkers in a straightforward and no bullshit way.

I have made friends at both jobs, too. This has been a game-changer since I have been almost completely isolated since March from anyone my age. The socializing has opened me up to opportunities of laughing and crying through these dark and dreary times. The inner monologue in my head keeps reminding me of the lesson I learned as a summer camp counselor, “in moments of sadness, find friends and things to do”. I have made the friends and opened myself up to working ridiculous hours in exchange for money and companionship.

The exhaustion was valid at the beginning. Standing for 40 hours a week and walking an average of 21,000 steps a day left my feet and legs feeling like absolute jello. On the bright side of that though, I lost the weight I had gained over quarantine, and I gained a lot of muscle definition in my arms, legs, and abs. Between my two jobs, I am wearing a mask constantly whenever I am not eating on a break. This has thinned out my face but also turned my skin into that of a teenage boys with acne and a defined jawline. I don’t really worry about either of these things because the only people who see me without a mask are my instagram followers and parents.

All in all, I am feeling so good lately, and I just wanted to put that good energy out into the world. The fires are being contained (FINALLY) and the pandemic is still going strong, but I am trying to find the good in all of it by looking inward. The key to happiness during this time for me is to reap what I sowed during the self isolation of quarantine. I meditated and did a lot of self reflection and worked on who I want to be. Putting that into practice has brought me joy and acceptance in myself, and I could not be happier with my hard work and all it has brought me. Not everyone is in this position, and there are millions without work or dealing with the traumas of COVID-19, so I recognize the privilege that this comes from, but I also get to celebrate my positives, too.