So I have been stressed and not for the same reasons I thought I would be a month ago. I have been pigeon holed into education since I graduated college. I hate teaching. I hate kids attitudes in education settings. I hate the parents attitude toward teachers and school administrators. It has caused me massive anxiety for the past three years that I have worked in the field, and that was part of the reason why I decided to leave that world behind during this pandemic.

I went through a meltdown where I thought I would make no money moving home because none of the jobs I was applying for were getting back to me. I genuinely thought I would be desperate for work and groveling to randoms or doing Door Dash until the Christmas season. My mom sent along a job opportunity to teach a very small group of third graders while their parents work. This is far from my first choice because again, I hate the whole gambit, but desperate situations bring about desperate solutions. So I accepted the job, and then it became ridiculously complicated. The mom’s stress and anxiety made me realize that the kids would follow suit. I also hate working in someone’s home because it throws off the dynamic.

I tried finding a replacement when my sister suggested one of her acquaintances. I emailed her and never heard back from her until I called my sister and told her that this girl was a flake. I got a quick response from this girl who said she was interested in the job but couldn’t send me her resume because it was on her computer that wasn’t with her…so she promised to send it within 24 hours. It is well past 24 hours and I just ended up sending her email to the mom who wanted to hire me and explained that she was a great teacher who lives in the area and the school district.

It just makes me so angry that someone who is desperately trying to find work is so flaky with responding to a simple email. If you don’t have a resume, at least say something about yourself so I can recommend you higher. It puts me in an awkward position because I have to reject a job that I already accepted, and now the person that I am recommending is flaky and non communicative. Bare minimum, I think that if you are complaining about not having a job and someone is literally handing you one, the least you can do is email them back. Even if you aren’t interested in it, let them know so that they can move on and work on finding someone else.

It also isn’t my responsibility to find someone to replace me for any job, yet every single job I have had has made me feel like this is my responsibility, which is shitty and shows a lack of boundaries. I seem to find myself in job situations where it way too personal and always involves kids, thus further explaining why I hate working with kids. I don’t want to be a part of their childhood memories, I want to be a 25 year old who has a work-life balance without small children being shit heads to me.

I needed to get this off my chest in hopes that I fall asleep tonight because lord knows it has been keeping me up till 2AM now. I am tired of anxiety about jobs that I hate and dreading going to work because of the attitudes of parents and children that I have to face. I’d rather drive Door Dash until I die than work with kids under any circumstance. The stress dreams and waves of anger that I have from previous jobs is haunting, and I’d like a big kid job with a hell of a lot less drama.